SLEEP! Why we need it, why it can feel so hard and how we can do it better!
Do you struggle with sleep?
I do.
I have always been what is called a ‘light’ sleeper, which means I am easily woken up by noise, or anything sudden & unusual (lights, smells).
I am also a little like the Princess in the fairy tale The Princess and the Pea*.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m a princess, but I AM someone who NEEDS my sleep, and so I have had to learn how to maximise my chances of getting a ‘good’ amount of the stuff!
Sleep is something we often don’t give a lot of thought to, though, until we are deprived of it!
But it plays a really important part in our overall health and wellbeing, with very specific functions.
I won’t go into a tonne of detail here about the different stages of sleep, their different functions and what happens in different parts of our brain, but the basics are:
How much sleep do we need?
Whilst there are variations in how much sleep people need in order to feel rested and refreshed the next morning (with genetic and age related difference), on average for an adult it’s between 7-9 hours in every 24 (a little more than bees, who sleep for 6-8 hours!). If you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), you may need even more (Elaine Aron suggests 8-10).
I certainly tend towards the upper end, and can quite happily spend more than that resting in bed after my sleep, before I get up to get on with my day!
Sleep happens in cycles, with a full cycle lasting about 90 minutes, and a full night of sleep consisting of between 4 to 6 cycles.
There are 4 stages in each cycle; one called Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and three Non-REM (NREM), each of which are characterised by different brain wave activity determining how deep the sleep. The deepest sleep is stage 3 NREM sleep, which is usually about 30 minutes into the 90 minute cycle, and lasts for 20-40 minutes. REM sleep is the fourth stage and is characterised by being the phase of sleep when we have the most vivid dreams (and when we might notice rapid eye movement in someone in this stage of sleep – hence it’s name!).
It’s worth knowing that it’s very difficult to wake someone in deep sleep, but if you are woken during this stage you will probably feel very groggy.
(The upshot being that if you want a nap, keep it to a kat-nap of less than 30 mins OR have a proper snooze for 90 minutes!!)
Why do we need sleep?
In terms of WHY we sleep, here are seven ‘did you know?’ facts:
it’s a key time for our body to rest and repair itself. So any injuries, or wear and tear will get attention as we sleep.
When we are asleep the parts of our brain that help us to process the emotional content of our lives becomes particularly active, and so it’s a key time for us making sense of and storing emotional memories. This is why ‘sleeping on it’ can often find us feeling much calmer and clearer about an issue from the previous day.
When we are asleep is also a key time for our brains to transfer information from our short-term to long term memory storage (hence why when we are having a period of sleep deprivation our ability to ‘remember things’ often feels impaired (because it is!!!!)
REM sleep, which is also the time of sleep when our brain is most active, is believed to be essential to memory, learning and creativity. which is explained by the significant uptick in brain activity during this phase.
Neural clearing-out or “taking out the trash”: When we are awake metabolic bits and bobs can build up between the cells of your brain, including unwanted proteins and excess fluid. Neurons are particularly affected by their environment, and need clear pathways to work well – so all this build up needs to be cleared out! The glymphatic system in the brain does this when we are in NREM sleep (and when our brain is therefore less active).
There is a hormone called Melatonin, produced in the pineal gland in our brain, that is absolutely vital to our ability sleep. It is triggered by darkness, which is one reason why artificial light, especially blue light (which mimics the light we get from the sun that stops melatonin production) from screens, TV and so on can really disrupt our ability to sleep. It’s also one reason why shift work tends to interfere with our ability to sleep well.
Our circadian rhythm, or internal body clock, is a biologically driven cycle of around 24 hours and is an important part of regulating our sleep patterns. We know that getting at least 15 minutes of the blue rays from natural sunlight/daylight on our faces in the morning (ideally between 8am and 10am) helps to set our clock, nudging our system that it’s morning, sending a message to our pineal gland to cease melatonin production (so we stop feeling sleepy) and also gives us a boost of serotonin to help get our day off to a great start. This process sets the 24 hour cycle, so we are better prepared and ready for sleep later on. This is an especially important consideration in the winter months if you find yourself heading to work and back in the dark. It would benefit you to try and grab just 15 mins of proper daylight sometime before noon!
Impact of poor sleep
So good sleep is not just about the quantity, it’s also about the quality.
I certainly notice when I’ve had poor quality or insufficient quantity of sleep: I am less motivated, and more anxious, grumpy, more emotional generally in fact, and I am less able to deal well with the emotional demands thrown at me.
And I tend to eat more rubbish (i.e. the lure of the sweet, carb laden food is much stronger) which then impacts my energy for the day because I get the blood sugar crashes.
I also know that stress can i
So it pays to do what you can to make it as likely as possible that you will get the best quality of sleep, for as long as you need.
How to get better sleep…
Sleep disruption is one of the most common complaints of the per-menopause/menopause, so it’s more important than ever when we hit these mid-life milestones that we do what we can to create the best chances of us getting the best night’s sleep we can.
Get your daily dose of morning sunshine (or at least daylight!)
Try to keep to a consistent bed-time & getting up time, as this will help to regulate your circadian rhythm.
Keep your bed and bedroom for sleeping (and sex!) only. If you find yourself sitting in bed first thing/last thing catching up on emails or watching TV, your brain will associate your bedroom with active awake-time, which will work against your attempts to use it for rest and sleep.
Stress is a sleep killer, and in midlife we are often experiencing multiple stressors, so do what you can to calm your nervous system, your mind and emotions before you try to sleep: meditation, journalling (especially gratitude journalling), yoga nidra, reading, a warm bath or shower in candle-light - whatever works for you.
Have a wind-down routine, an hour or two before you actually want to go to bed to start relaxing your body and mind and to signal to your brain (and your pineal gland) that it’s night-time and sleep-time (and time to ramp up the melatonin production). Dim the lights, switch off the screens (especially those with blue light) and reduce stimulation.
Avoid food for 2-3 hours before bedtime ideally, because
Avoid nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol, especially in the late afternoon and early evening. These substances can disrupt sleep and lower your sleep quality.
Avoid exercise too close to bedtime – whilst exercise is definitely good, if you do it too close to bed time you risk scuppering your attempts to sleep because your heart rate will be raised, and you won’t be feeling relaxed and ready for sleep.
Try to stop drinking all liquids a few hours before bedtime to reduce likelihood of needing to get up for the loo!!
Think about your sleep environment too:
Keep your room cool (recommended 16-18 degrees Celsius), and well ventilated with a window open
Cotton clothes/bedsheets (breathable)
Consider separate duvets so if you get too hot you can throw the covers off/have a lighter duvet.
Whilst you can’t always control the things that keep you awake (like hormones - it’s worth noting that HRT can help with sleep issues), when you understand what sleep is all about, and how it works, there ARE things you can do to set yourself up for better sleep success, making it as easy as possible for your body to switch into night-time mode and start producing that much needed melatonin…
What could you do better?
*If you don’t know the tale it’s a Hans Christian Anderson story ale about prince who wants to marry a princess but is having difficulty finding a suitable wife. He meets many princesses, but is never sure that they are true princesses. One stormy night, a young woman drenched with rain seeks shelter in the prince's castle. She claims to be a princess, but the queen has doubts. She decides to test their unexpected guest by placing a pea in the bed she is offered for the night, covered by twenty mattresses and twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.
In the morning, the princess tells her hosts that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed that she is certain has bruised her. The prince's family realizes that she is a princess after all, since no one but a real princess** could be so delicate. The two are happily married, and the story ends with the pea being placed in a museum, where it might still remain.
** or someone who is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)!!
References for further information:
Stages of Sleep: What Happens in a Sleep Cycle | Sleep Foundation