Why you should take the time to listen to your heart and gut!

Listening to our intuition can feel like a magical mystery tour that takes us away from the apparent safety of logical, rational thought, but it’s SO important to our wellbeing and sense of fulfilment in life.

So here’s a question or two.

The Science of Intuition

How often do you take a breath and some time by yourself to connect with your heart and gut. 

And if you do, do you listen? And do you act on what they tell you?

I know for most of my life, it’s not something I have allowed myself to do.

Or rather, I often sense what they are saying to me ( I have a strong interoceptive sense - the ability to ‘hear’ the messages from your heart and gut - did you know they have brain cells too?), but too often I have not allowed myself to LISTEN because the message is inconvenient, or seemingly ‘illogical’ or will lead to difficult conversations, or is at odds with what others expect of me, or what I have in the past expected of myself.

So I quieten that inner voice, and carry on acting on what my logical ‘head’ brain is telling me.

Yet I KNOW that when I DO allow myself to not only listen but to ACT on what I’m being guided to do by my heart and gut - things tend to work out for the better.

And that’s because our interceptive sense is giving us waaaaay more information in which to make our choices and decisions than our head brain alone can ever provide - it’s essentially what could be called our ‘6th’ sense. That inner-knowing about something that we can’t pin-point. Our intuition. And it rarely steers us wrong.

Why Intuition Matters

There’s a lot of scientific research to back this up - including a study that showed that those Traders on the Stock Exchange who performed the best, who made the most money, were those who were well attuned to their introception, and acted on it.

There are also numerous Leadership studies that show that leaders who make decisions using their intuition, as well as objective, logical data, tend to make the best decisions - Leaders who refuse to agree to something that looks good on paper, but just doesn’t ‘feel’ right, that are then in hindsight proven to have made the best choice.

And I have seen this too in Recruitment. Candidates who on paper were the ‘best’ candidate, but just didn’t ‘feel’ right - tend to not work out. As a psychologist who has been brought up on objective assessment methods and eradicating any subjective element, it pains me a little to say it - but, in my experience, that intuitive sense really matters to getting the best outcomes.

Not only that - there’s solid evidence to show that when we are living a life that feels aligned to our needs, our desires, and the essence of who we are as a unique being on this earth, our sense of wellbeing and fulfilment is at it’s highest.

So I have a confession…

I haven’t been listening!

For the past few years I have been helping other women to get unstuck and reconnect with what really makes them feel alive, and true to themselves, and begin to redefine what their next phase of life looks like, in a way that feels aligned to who they really are and what they really want from life.

I’ve been encouraging them to ‘tune in’ to that inner whisper and pay attention to what it has to say.  Because this is the heart speaking, and therein lies the gold to a life that feels aligned, authentic and that allows you to shine.

Because that’s where the feeling of glowing wellbeing and enriched fulfilment comes from.

Deep within.

And that’s what I feel the world needs more of. Women who are lit-up from the inside out, and doing ‘their thing’.

I’ve guided women to get clear on their values, and to lean into these to help them make better choices for themselves, choices that feel more heart-felt and aligned, and to help them to do difficult inner work in order to get unstuck and get out of their own way.

I’ve helped them to untangle, to open their minds to new possibilities, and to write the first lines of their new chapter, deeply from the heart.

I’ve supported them to work out how they’re going to start making their way along this new, exciting path, a plan that actually sees them taking the first steps along this new or adjusted path that feels ‘right’ and uplifting.

And it is always wonderful to see their inner-glow rise back up, their zest for life return, and the big smile on their face as they skip off into the sunset!

But even though I love this, something has been feeling ‘off’ for me. Not as sparkly as I would like to feel. Like my own flame was beginning to fizzle out.

When things feel ‘off’

For a good while I though it was simply the challenges of running my own business, of trying to work at home when The Teen and The Hubby are both always there, or coming and going, unsettling my space (literal, and emotional, head and energetic space) and making it harder to concentrate and stay in the flow. Or inner-resistance to some of the hard things you have to do as a business owner, things that don’t come so naturally (like marketing, getting visible, telling people that I’m here, and how I can help them), and mindset gremlins like Imposter Syndrome.

But it turns out it wasn’t really any of these things.

And in truth, I’ve known that for a while too.

My heart and gut have been whispering.

I’ve been hearing it, I just wasn’t listening at first.

And then when I began to listen – I ignored them.

I didn’t ACT on what they were telling me.

Because what they have been telling me requires me to shake things up a bit.  It doesn’t make total sense, logically.

And to act on these whispers, feels a bit scary.

It would involve a leap of faith.  To trust myself to do something new, and different, to BE a different version of me AND to BELIEVE it will work out, that it’s possible for me.

(Plus, it would mean a(nother) tricky conversation with the husband).

The realisation dawns!

“WAIT.”

“HANG ON!”

I hear you say.

“Aren’t those the EXACT things you help and inspire other women to do and be?”

 Erm, Yup!

You’ve found me out!

And THIS is why things have been feeling off.

I LOVE helping women, but it turns out, there’s something ELSE I am being called to do more of, that I have been ignoring. 

MY whisper has been calling to ME, and I’ve been ignoring it.

The very thing that I encourage others to do, I have been avoiding and resisting.

I have been ‘shushing’ my heart and gut AND in the process, I have also found myself misaligned from two of my strongest, most core values.

Authenticity and Courage.

I thought I was being authentic because I was showing up as me, and doing something I care about.

I thought I was being brave, because I was working hard to do the difficult things.

BUT – turns out, I have not been wholly authentic, because I’ve been ignoring what my heart is telling me.  

And by failing to be honest with myself about it, I have not been showing courage either.

And by not walking my talk, I have pulled myself even further away from feeling authentic.

So now I need to be brave and acknowledge that I have been ignoring this whisper, and that’s it’s time for me to do what I help others to do, and to reimagine and redefine the next few chapters of MY own life.

My wellbeing and happiness depend on it!!

Acting on your intuition

I mention this not because I have the answers yet, but to show how easy it is to find yourself drifting away from what you thought was your centre, and also to show that these feelings can happen at any time, to anyone!

It’s a normal part of personal growth as we journey through life.

We change and grow as we age, and as our environment and circumstances change. 

And with all of these things, the exact life formula that lights up our spark can change too – and so we need to adjust, pivot and adapt our life to keep that spark alive.

So - I’m back on a journey of re-discovery, and will be redefining what my ‘next phase’ looks like in the coming weeks and months.

All I know right now is:

·       it will involve much more practical creativity, at least for a while as I focus more time and energy on my jewellery business

·       I have a feeling that there will be more wellbeing ‘stuff’

·       my coaching will still be in the mix– it just may end up looking a little different…

What’s interesting to note is that now that I’ve acknowledged what my whisper is saying, and I’m beginning to take aligned action, fully in my values, things have stopped feeling ‘off’ - instead they feel exciting! I feel energised, motivated and a bit scared! But it’s a good kind of scared.

The scared you get when you know you’re heading somewhere you want to go. The scared you get from knowing you’re going to be entering stretchy waters, and growing, and you’re not quite sure what’s going to be involved, but you want to do it anyway.

Not the fear of being stuck. Or the fear of ‘this being all there is’. Or the fear of becoming resigned to an inner flame slowly being starved of oxygen.

I can’t wait to see where it takes me (there is some intention and purposeful action involved of course!) and you’re invited to come along for the ride!

In the meantime, if you’re thinking you’d like some support to work out your next chapter – I’ll still be here for that too (there will just be a few fewer 121 spaces for a while). Sign up to my newsletter to get all the latest updates!