Feeling adrift in midlife? The winter season has some inspiration for you to help you sew the seeds of change…
As I am writing this it is officially the start of astronomical winter in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s the shortest day (and the longest night) and it’s only 4 sleeps until Christmas Day (for those who partake).
And I find that this time of the year as we approach Christmas can be like an intensified version of our experience of midlife...
Full of the pulls and demands of 101 different things from dozens of different people.
Days (and DAYS) filled with a busyness that feels draining, or even exhausting, but not necessarily very fulfilling.
Yearnings for the Hollywood and days of yore picture perfect white snowy and/or crispy frosty scenes for the fun snowball fights, snowman building, cheery family walks, that in reality turn into far too warm for the time of year, damp, grey slightly tetchy and disappointing affairs.
That niggling desire for something different, but you’re just not sure what that is, or how you’d even go about expressing that to everyone else.
All the plans you had for ‘you’ at this point just don’t seem to be fitting in around all the other ‘stuff’ and you feel like you may as well give up (again) – maybe next year?
Just me?!!
Well - I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late to make some changes if you’re feeling a bit adrift at this point in the year, and in life!
So, my gift to you this Christmas is to give you permission to say ‘F*** this for a game of soldiers’ and to lean into some seasonal inspiration to start tuning into that little fire in your belly that is nudging you to re-define who you are, re-imagine your life (and your Christmas) and finally prioritise your self-care and fulfilment.
Starting now!!!
What Winter Teaches Us
Contrary to what we often think about Winter, it’s not a time when everything STOPS – BUT it IS a time for doing things differently:
In the winter season insects, animals, plants and trees all adapt to the scarcer resources, by paring back what they ‘do’ and by focusing their efforts on the things that will sustain them through the winter months. There’s no wasted effort in nature. Whether that’s stocking up on the things that will feed them (think the squirrels gathering and stashing away their nuts), or conserving energy by spending more time resting and less time on the ‘growth’ stuff (think the dormant insects and animals, the slower pace of those who are staying awake through the winter and also the trees who lose their leaves, absorbing the energy into their roots). All these other living things are very clear about what they need, and they very intentionally set out every day to meet those needs.
Winter’s Invitation
For me, what this invites us to do at this time of year is:-
Take care of our core needs, on purpose, so that when we hit the almost inevitable tensions and crankiness, we are more able to deal with them with compassion and good grace, and are less likely to feel resentful or overwhelmed. This includes time for REST and time for things we ENJOY.
Doing only what is really needed, focusing on conserving energy by letting go of things that drain us and which we don’t really need for now and being intentional about the things you take on (the birds and bees most definitely tend NOT to take on raising babies, making honey etc in the Winter months!).
And if we’re not sure what those things are – this is a PERFECT time to start intentionally tuning in to our heart and gut, listening to how we FEEL about the things in our days and reflecting on whether they make us feel good, or not, energise us, or not – and to begin to identify where we might want to make some changes!
So before you embark on changing your life, let’s start by changing your Christmas.
How to re-imagine your experience of Christmas
Here are five questions I invite you to ponder …
· What’s one small thing I can do today that would make me smile?
· What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself today?
· What demands am I making of myself? How could I give myself some grace and be kinder to myself?
· How and when will I make time for rest today?
· What is Nature guiding me to do today?
These simple questions (which may not have simple answers!) will help you to connect with your inner compass, guide you to be more intentional about your self-care and help you to re-define what this latest version of you needs and wants - and that will help you on your journey to re-imagine the next season of your life, one little step at a time!
And if you’d like more nudges from Nature and hints and tips from Psychology and beyond to help you on your journey to re-connect with YOU and re-imagine your Christmas and life, hop onto my mailing list and grab my guide.
Wishing you the calmest, most serene and magical Christmas!
